I was on my way to school with David and his family; they relatively leave early and let me open the windows, which is why I avoided going with Kai.
It’s silly, but I love the morning breeze it just makes me feel like a new person, it happens before most of the people wake up, the air just races through my skin like a bath of freshness and for a second when I close my eyes I just feel…pure slowly ascending into
“Let’s go,” said David cutting me off as we arrived at school.
The second I step foot inside, everything is lost, hatred filling me slowly.
Going up to class, I keep thinking, “I hate this, I hate that, this is torture.”
It’s weird; about half an hour ago, everything was okay, but now it’s like the sky has dropped.
Maybe it’s because I just feel different, like I don’t belong here.
Maybe it’s because at recess, all the kids just go in circles forming their groups with me left behind, I tend to sit alone or just stand between them awkwardly only so they don’t spread rumors about how much of a weirdo I am, Or maybe it’s because the sarcasm, peer pressure, and
“look at what Mousoka is wearing haha, did your father give you these jeans after he wore them out?” said jake
the group started laughing, so I went with it, and chuckled
“hahaha…” I really feel like I want to punch him.
It’s typical, I thought
“Hey guys, why do I never see Ari with any food?”
“I think his mom just eats it all, hahaha.”
“she probably cooks ten bags of Doritos for their lunch, hahaha.”
“his mom is so fat the car starts scratching the ground after she sits.”
“Hey, did you hear what jake called your mom Ari?”
“A fat bitch.”
and they all laughed
“fuck you guys.”
“what did you say?”
Jake and the other jakes started calling him names, then they started beating him.
I don`t remember all their names so I just call them all jake.
I wish I could be as courageous as Ari, I should stand up for myself next time!
“what are you doing come to help us!”
And then I punched him, it felt good, the adrenaline was just all over the place. But I soon realized that I shouldn’t have done that.
They left Ari, and started chasing me I ran until they all got tired; the bell rang and we went back to class.
Who am I kidding though, it’s not like that every day, maybe I will only remember the bad moments if I keep thinking about what happened today or any other similar day, I forced my self to think about other times.
Huh, it’s funny how I can’t shake off these feelings,
I mean, I do have good thoughts, don’t I?
It was psychology class
“…and because of that you see some people trapped in their faces for the rest of their life,” said the teacher
“Hey what is he talking about,” I asked Ari
“he says that according to an American psychology professor, 50 percent of the level of our happiness is predetermined by our genetics, a set point, and if we don’t try to change it, we will be stuck with it.
he gave an example of how the people who laugh for the rest of their lives you can see wrinkles that make up their smile and that…
“Ari!” shouted the teacher
“Sorry, I was just explaining to Mosouka what were you talking about.”
“Well, Mosouka could ask me if he wants, or better yet, PAY ATTENTION.”
“Sorry,” I said, rolling my eyes,”
“And studies have shown…yes Mosouka,” asked me the teacher while I was raising my hand.
“Why does it matter then? If we’re happy or not if it’s predetermined by our genetics. I mean, it’s not fair, is it?”
“The world is most certainly not fair, and it matters because studies have shown that the happier the person is, the more successful, active, and likely to have a healthy life. but other than that, why would you want to feel anything but happy?”
“I probably wouldn’t want to trade my happiness for anything in the world when I am experiencing, it but when I’m angry, madly excited awed, or even depressed, I feel like this is what I want to feel right now, and I embrace it.
“that doesn’t make sense, Mosouka!”
“what do you mean, If these feeling weren’t needed or they were an obstacle to us, why do we have them?
I decided to walk home after school
On my way home I saw my classmate, Mary,
“Oh, hey, how are you?”
“I’m good, and you?”
“Yeah, good. I heard you in class, I think what you said kinda makes sense.”
“It does doesn’t it, but the teachers never seem to listen to what I’m saying”
“it’s like with anyone who has a programmed thought. it’s tough to change their minds!”
“my mum is like that, she just doesn’t get it, you know?”
“Yeah, I hate my parents.”
“well, I don’t hate her, but sometimes I do feel like leaving.”
“Okay, um, this is my bus. see you tomorrow.”
“see you” she smiled
Oh, I forgot to take her number!
The bus was about to close its doors, so I rushed into it.
“Hey” I smiled
“do you also ride this bus?”
“uh, no, I mean yes, this is the bus that I ride.
“Oh, hey” If I ask her now, it may seem suspicious.
“do you um, where do you live?”
“just up the hill.”
“oh, it’s close?”
“yeah, but I don’t like to walk, and today, my mum couldn’t get me.”
This is so awkward I thought, I’m gonna look out the window.
“Okay this is my stop, bye” she smiled
“wait, Mary, can I U h have your number?”
“Yeah, it’s 003874659.”
I once read that I shouldn’t text the girl on the first three days after getting her number, So I avoided her for the next three days.
Three days later.
“Hey mary” I shouted
she was her friend group at recess.
She smiled back and turned away from me,
so I approached her.
“Hey,” I said
“do you want to go have a drink with me after school?”
I also read that people who like each other go out for a drink.
“No, I can’t, sorry.”
I went away puzzled, I did everything that I should why did she say no?
After school, she sent me a message:
“You can’t ignore me for three days and then expect me to go out with you!”
“Sorry, I thought this is how these things are done.”
“no, it’s not!”
“I don’t know how it goes.”
“let’s just stay friends and text here for now.”
“Does that mean we might be together later?”
And that’s how Mosouka got friend-zoned