Part Six:
Sid
It was almost 7 in the evening; the sun was setting, the air was moderately hot. “this is the best time of the day,” said Mosouka lying on the floor and closing his eyes with a smirk on his face.
“why’s that?”
“you can just relax, enjoy the breeze.”
“enjoy the sun and the sky” I continued his sentence
we sat there for a while staring as the sun as it was setting, comfortably.
“You talked about how you pursued Christianity only to find wrath hidden behind its beauty, how that moved you to your next affair with Islam the religion that captured your heart with its philosophy only to find yourself on the path to Buddhism following the ways of Siddharta to reach enlightenment only to find yourself empty on the street with nothing but a curious mind that got you to continue your journey through Hinduism, Jainism Baha’is… to study them plainly in a shallow way because they left you with nothing but a feeling of meaninglessness and had you question the reality and research truth through the intellectual scope that confused your whole self of being.
but where is the Unicorn part of that story?”
“Glad you remembered that part.” he beamed and continued,
“As I said, I couldn’t expose any label that would describe me fully because there wasn’t any.
But that’s when it was clear to me that we all feel that feeling, that sensation that no matter if we’re part of a group or multiple societies, no matter what’s written under our identity or any form that describes our body or our past, we all, in the end, feel special, like we’re one of a kind.
And we are in a way. Everyone is unique; no one has the same thoughts, figure, or past, so we connect ourselves with others forming relationships with those that have similar traits to ours so we can feel a sense of belonging, we acquire some of the group’s characteristics which cause others to associate these fashions with us, to form stereotypes.
We rage at those who do, and yet we find ourselves committing the same sin at times.
Arrogant by nature, we tend to place our opinion superior to others to feed our ego. Consequently, we almost always find a justification for our actions and blame others for their incompetence, blinded by the fact that free will is a delusion created by our minds to feed our domineering essence.
It is when I grasped the meaning of life without choice that I realized my true nature.
`In positive psychology, they call it the set point~the default mode which your being is imprisoned in, a state of mindset by heredity that governs your actions, looks, future, and most importantly, your emotions.
Emotions are after all our guide through life we need them to thrive and embrace them we must, embrace the positive feelings and comfort the negative ones because that’s what a positive emotion is~ state animals have evolved to pursue.”
“But how exactly can you embrace bad emotions and still have a positive aspect of life?” I asked
“By taking the time thinking about your time and how it lead you to this point of say rage, for example, someone just said hurtful things to you you might experience sadness or vengeance, and you’re entitled to, you show him that you feel that way by talking back or threatening him, and soon enough the problem expands, you start fighting, and we all know that everyone loses in a fight, so you take that thought and use it to your benefit, you decide to walk away unharmed.”
“but you are harmed, he makes you feel bad, and I’m pretty sure I’d wanna make him feel the same way.”
“you’re right, and everyone feels like that, but it is always better to take a step back and look at the situation from hovering point of view.
What I would do though in the first place is not feel bad at all; I mean, why should I? because of a mistake, someone else made without a choice?
And that’s what a unicorn is.”
“a forgiving person?”
A being that can manage through life without a damn, structure it’s path for the better as a way of self binding, living in its way with little but embraced effect from the environment on it, striving for the truth unbiased, and most importantly prepared to have fun, always.”
“Hahahaha, are you serious? you told me all that story for this?”
“Hahaha, yes, I did. I know it might sound unrelated and way out of topic, but it isn’t, that whole journey made me who I am, I learned from every religion something and acquired many features on the way, or in a better sense embraced who I am because after all those traits are mostly associated with my DNA, so yes you can call me whatever you want, a determinist, atheist, Christian, Buddhist, Sufi, psychopath, crazy, thin, male… but I prefer Unicorn” he said with a smile covering his cheeks, “and that’s what the colors resemble, the whole identity of me, all I can do is spread my colors.”
“So, it’s just a label for you?” I asked
“That it is.”
Retroveens 